Family Matters

Mary, did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water? Mary, did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters? Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new? This child that you deliver will soon deliver you Mary, did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man? Mary, did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod? And when you kiss your little baby you've kissed the face of God the blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again the lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the lamb Mary, did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation? Mary, did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations? Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect lamb? And that sleeping child you're holding is the great I am.

Those lyrics written by Mark Lowry, are from a song that we typically here at Christmas time. And I share them today because while bleeding and dying on the cross, Jesus spoke to his mother, Mary. Now, we don't always give a lot of thought or a lot of attention to Mary outside of December and the Christmas season. So this morning I want to take us on a quick tour of what we know of Mary. One of the things that scripture tells us about Mary is that Mary trusted God.

The first time we're introduced to Mary, she's a young virgin woman pledged to be married to a man named Joseph. But before the wedding date arrived, an angel appeared to Mary and said, you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus, which means the Lord saves. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob's descendants forever.

His kingdom will never end. Now, as a virgin, Mary had some legit biological questions about how this whole pregnancy thing was supposed to work. So the angel explained, The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. The angel stressed to Mary that God always keeps his promises.

And Mary responded in faith and submission. I am the Lord's servant, Mary answered. May your word to me be fulfilled. And Mary then became miraculously pregnant. And while that was no surprise to her, it was a devastating shock to Joseph, who could only assume that Mary had cheated on him with another man.

Joseph was preparing to call off the wedding when an angel explained to him that this pregnancy was from God. So Joseph went ahead and took Mary as his wife, and he took on the role of adoptive father to the son of God Mary was carrying in her womb. Scripture tells us that Mary praised God for noticing her, for doing great things, for being holy, for showing mercy, for deposing the proud and lifting up the humble, and for honoring his centuries old promise to bless the entire world through Abraham's descendants. Mary trusted God. The second thing I would call attention to is that Mary did her best with what she had.

Maybe the most famous thing we know about Mary is that a few months later, she went with Joseph to his family's hometown of Bethlehem because of a Roman census that was being conducted. And while they were in Bethlehem, the time came and she gave birth to Jesus. And because Mary was away from home with no other options, she repurposed a manger, a livestock feeding trough as a crib and laid her newborn baby in it to sleep. Another thing we see about Mary in scripture is that she was attentive to what God was doing. You know, after Jesus was born, angels appeared to shepherds and sent them to visit this newborn Messiah.

And after the shepherds saw this baby named Jesus, they celebrated and they went off and they told other people about him. And Luke chapter two says, Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Mary was attentive to what God was doing, and she continued long after that to reflect on it. A fourth thing I'll highlight quickly is that Mary obeyed God. Mary and Joseph faithfully obeyed the Jewish law.

So they took Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem to dedicate him to God. And there in Jerusalem was an old man by the name of Simeon, whom God had promised would not die before he had seen the Messiah with his own eyes. So the Holy Spirit led Simeon to the temple at just the right time to meet Jesus and his parents. And Simeon praised God and then said something to Mary that you don't typically hear at a baby dedication. Simeon said, mary, this child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed and a sword will pierce your own soul too.

So Simeon predicted that Jesus would grow up to have great impact. And that grief lay ahead for Mary and Mary and Joseph. Because they were devout and faithful to God, they faithfully returned to Jerusalem each year after that to celebrate the Jewish Passover. And there's one more thing I'll highlight, and that is simply that Mary and Joseph had other children. The Gospels of Matthew and Mark indicate that after Jesus was born, Mary and Joseph got busy and they had at least six other sons and daughters.

After Jesus returned to heaven, his followers gathered in Jerusalem to await the promised gift of his Holy Spirit. And the Book of Acts tells us that Mary and her other sons were there among them with the disciples, waiting for the Holy Spirit to be poured out. Now, let's talk for a minute about what we know about Jesus relationship with his mom. We don't have a ton of details, but Scripture provides us a few snapshots that reveal some really powerful things. Number one, Jesus respected and obeyed Mary.

When Jesus was 12 years old, he traveled with his parents to Jerusalem for the Passover festival. And after that feast, Mary and Joseph headed for home. And unbeknownst to them, Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. They're a full day into their travels before Mary and Joseph realize that Jesus wasn't anywhere to be found. Now, at first, they figured he's probably somewhere else in this caravan of family and friends that they're traveling with.

But when they realized that he wasn't, they went back to Jerusalem and they searched for two more days. Any of the moms in the room getting nervous at this point? Two more days before they finally located him at the temple, discussing Scripture with the Jewish religious leaders in a way that revealed incredible wisdom that was far beyond his years. Now, Mary and Joseph were astonished at what they were hearing. And Mary said something very motherly to Jesus.

What were you thinking? We've been worried sick. It's not hard to imagine a mom saying that. And without any disrespect, Jesus said, mom, where else would you expect me to be but right here in my Father's house? Luke chapter two tells us that Mary and Joseph did not fully understand what Jesus meant by this.

But even though his parents didn't fully get him or his mission, the end of Luke chapter two tells us that Jesus went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them and right in character for Mary. She continued to think about what had happened, just like she had after the shepherds had visited Jesus as a newborn at the manger. Luke 2:51 says his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And we see years later that even as a grown man, Jesus honored Mary. In John chapter two, Jesus and his mother and his disciples all attended a wedding where the hosts ran out of wine.

Now, knowing that Jesus could solve the problem. Mary nudged him and said, they have no more wine. Jesus wasn't looking for the spotlight yet. And he gently said, mom, what are you doing? It isn't my time yet.

And I don't know exactly how this worked, but it's not hard for me to imagine Mary just sort of pretending not to hear that and telling the servants, just do whatever my son says. So Jesus had them fill six large 20 or 30 gallon jars with water which he transformed into even better wine than they had had to begin with. And Scripture tells us that this was Jesus first miracle and it revealed his power and it strengthened his disciples faith in him. It was also a favor to his mom.

And then three years later, we find today's famous last words where Jesus made sure that Mary would be cared for. And that's what I really want to zero in on together in the remainder of the time we have this next statement that Jesus spoke from the cross is found in the Gospel of John, chapter 19 where we get this preface to what's about to be said. We're told that near the cross of Jesus stood his mother. His mother's sister married the wife of Clopas and Mary Magdalene. Most of Jesus close friends had fled after he was arrested.

But here are four women, 75% of them named Mary. You may have noticed. And his mother is right there standing by him at the cross. Now one of the sad realities of life in this broken world is that parents sometimes have to bury their children. We naturally and rightly expect our children to outlive us because that's how it's supposed to be.

But if you've lived very long on this planet, you know that there are many exceptions to that norm. Many of us know some of us are parents who have experienced miscarriages.

There are parents whose children are taken from them by a variety of different health issues. When I was six years old, my mom gave birth to a baby boy who had a serious heart defect and died a day later. I never got to know my brother Joshua. I look forward to meeting him in heaven someday. You know, there are parents who lose their children in car accidents.

Just a few days ago I heard a college friend that tell about one of his daughter's high school friends being killed in a school shooting. I have friends who've experienced the horror of losing children to homicide. Just less than two weeks ago, I led a memorial service for a woman who had been murdered. And her mother told me at that service, unless you've lost a child, you have no idea. And she was right.

I have other friends who've lost their kids to suicide or to drug overdoses and I could go on. We could make a much longer list. But I think we all recognize that no matter the circumstances, it is deeply painful for parents to lose a child. Amen.

Seeing anyone die is hard. Alex Honnold is a remarkable climber who scales vertical surfaces without any safety gear. This is kind of what he's become famous for. He's featured in a couple of Netflix documentaries. There's one called Free Solo released a few years ago that's all about his free solo.

This no safety gear involved climb of the 3,000 foot face of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. More recently, there's a newer film called Skyscraper in which he scales the 1,667 foot Taipei 101 tower in Taiwan. How many of us have seen any of those? Have you watched Free Solo or Skyscraper? If you have even a little bit of fear of heights, it'll make you squirm on your couch.

There's some crazy camera work being done now. The interesting thing is that both of those films required a team of other climbers to accompany him and to handle those cameras. And that reality of having friends climb with him wielding cameras forced Alex Honnold to acknowledge the heartbreaking possibility that, that if anything at all went wrong, his friends would watch him die and capture it on film. And that would be traumatic for them. You know, there's a verse that's often familiar even to people who don't know much about the Bible.

And it goes like this. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life at the cross. God gave his only son for the sins of the world. And that verse, it's an amazing picture of God's compassionate and sacrificial love for us. But what we don't as often think about is that Mary also gave her son.

As Mary stood near that cross, I don't know whether she grasped that Jesus as God in flesh was pain with his own life for the sins of the world. But whatever degree of theological understanding she did or didn't have, Mary watched her son die. And that kind of grief and loss is hard to imagine. You know, it's also hard to imagine Jesus emotional pain because from the cross he watched his mom grieve as she watched him suffer. It's painful to watch the people we love hurt.

You know, I have friends who have walked with or are walking with their kids through serious illnesses. That is such a helpless feeling. I haven't traveled that road personally with a sick child, but I can tell you how helpless I felt last fall when my wife Allison, was being treated for breast cancer. There's nothing I can do but pray. There's plenty of grief to go around in this scene in John 19.

Still, no one suffered more than Jesus. Remember, at this point, Jesus has been betrayed by one friend and abandoned by others. He has been falsely accused and wrongfully sentenced to death. He's been mocked and beaten and spit on and. And scourged and crowned with sharp thorns.

He's been forced to carry a heavy, wooden, splintered cross on his raw and bleeding shoulders. He's been pinned to that cross with spikes driven through his wrists and through his ankles. And he hangs from that cross from his wrists until cramping in his chest, in his pectoral muscles, begins to cause constriction and suffocation, at which point he shifts his weight to the nails through his ankles and he lifts himself up in order to catch a breath. And when he can no longer stand the pain of that, he slumps down and repeats the process over and over and over and over again. And in those final moments of desperation and agony, do you know what Jesus was thinking about his mom?

When Jesus saw his mother there and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, woman, here is your son. And to the disciple, here is your mother. From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. Now, we don't see Joseph mentioned again in scripture after that point In Luke chapter two, when Jesus is 12 years old and they go to Jerusalem for the Passover feast. So it is widely believed that by this time, by the time Jesus is a grown man, Joseph has died.

So Mary, now a widow, watches, heartbroken and helpless, as her oldest son suffers on the cross. And in that same moment that Jesus ensured that she would be cared for after he died, he asked his close friend, his disciple John, who was also right there, to care for his mom. And John graciously welcomed Mary into his own home as if she were his own mother. Jesus lived his entire life in obedience to God, including his command to honor parents. You know, honoring our parents is such a big deal that it's one of the ten commandments.

It made God's top ten list. Commandment number five, honor your father and mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God has given you. God wants us to have healthy, mutually honoring family relationships and that command carried over to the New Testament as well. The apostle Paul wrote Ephesians, chapter 6, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. And then Paul quoted from the Ten Commandments, honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.

Honoring our parents is a key component of the kind of life God wants us to have now. Jesus lived 1400 years after God gave Moses those ten commandments. And by then, certain Jewish rabbis had created convenient loopholes around some of God's commands. For example, since honoring our parents often carries with it an implication of providing financially for them in their later years, Jewish leaders had invented this custom called corban. It's a word that means devoted to God.

That allowed them to say, mom, dad, I wish I could help, but I've devoted all my money to God, so anything I might have shared with you is already spoken for. So sorry. And Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions. See, it was because of habits like this one that Jesus called the attention of the Jewish leaders to the ancient words of Isaiah. Isaiah wrote, these people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.

They worship me in vain. Their teachings are merely human rules. In the ancient world, before pensions, before 401ks or life insurance policies, women without husbands or sons to provide for them were often very vulnerable. So God gave very specific instructions for both to ancient Israel and to the church about caring for aging widows and parents and grandparents. The apostle Paul wrote in First Timothy, Chapter 5, give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need.

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents for this is pleasing to God. Saving for the future is wise. That's a good habit. I would encourage all of us to do that. Social Security can help.

The church has a role to play in caring for those in need. But God's plan A for taking care of us as we age is our families. Many of us have been loved and taught and encouraged and raised by parents and grandparents and. And giving back to these special people in our lives is a way of repaying that debt. It's a way of putting our faith into action.

It is a way of honoring God in the process and to make clear that caring for our parents is more than just a suggestion. Paul went on just a few verses later to make this statement. Paul said, anyone who does not provide for their relatives and especially for their own household has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. To whatever degree we're able, God wants us to use our resources to help care for our families, especially our parents. And even as he suffered, Jesus was in tune with that.

What we see at the cross is that Jesus love never quit. We saw last week that from the cross, Jesus prayed for forgiveness for the very people who were killing him. He promised a repentant criminal that they would soon be together in paradise. In the presence of God. And in his dying moments, when he could easily have been consumed with his own pain, Jesus also had the compassionate presence of mind to ask a friend to care for his mama.

And for all of these reasons, I am convinced that we follow Jesus example when we love to our last breath. Let me say that one more time. We follow Jesus example when we love to our very last breath. Now, that's a principle that we can apply in a lot of different directions, but in today's context, I want to focus for just a moment on our families. Families can be complicated.

For some of us, family is a happy word. But I know that's not true of all of us. And because I don't know all the history, I don't know all the joys or all the dysfunctions of your family, I cannot and I will not presume to tell you exactly what you need to do in this area. But I do believe that the Holy Spirit will show us if we'll ask Him. So instead of issuing one specific pointed, one size fits all challenge, what I'd like to do today is close by asking five questions that I hope you'll take some time with the Holy Spirit to wrestle with.

Here's question number one. When was the last time you thanked your parents for investing in your life?

There are no perfect parents. Sometimes parents do annoying things. I know because I sometimes take joy in annoying my kids.

But most parents do their best. The vast majority of parents I know are trying hard, imperfectly, but hard, to love their kids. And if you have parents like that who are trying hard to love you and support you, they're worthy of appreciation. When was the last time you said thank you? Question number two.

Have you talked to your parents or your grandparents recently? Any of us who have lost one or more of our parents? We recognize that we're not guaranteed tomorrow. So let me ask you, are there things that you need to talk to your parents about things you need to ask them, about things you need to share with them while you still have that opportunity. When was the last time you talked to them?

Question 3. Do you have aging parents or grandparents who are struggling in ways that you can help with? How might God use you to bless and support them in this season of life?

Is that mowing the grass? Helping them figure out how to use a smartphone?

How could you support these people who have supported you? Question number four. Is there a rift in your family that God might be prompting you to take the first step in repairing? Is there a text you need to send or a phone call you need to make or a visit you need to schedule? Now let me be really clear, okay?

I know that some of us have experienced some incredibly toxic failures. Family relationships. It's possible that some of us in this room have zero contact with our parents because they have been abusive to us in the past. I get that some of our parents are no longer living, so connection is not even an option anymore. And it's not my intent to be dismissive of any of these things.

But whether or not a conversation is possible, whether or not an apology has been offered, let me ask you this Question number five. Are their family hurts? You need to ask God to help you forgive. Remember last week we saw Jesus pray from the cross. Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.

The people Jesus prayed for were deliberately hurting him and they, they were aware of that. But the, the grand scale of what they were doing eluded them. Oftentimes selfish, self centered, emotionally unhealthy people do hurtful things. Not necessarily because their, their deliberate goal is to hurt, but because they don't know how to express things any better. Don't get me wrong, there are people who hurt deliberately as well.

But here's the thing. Forgiveness doesn't minimize, it doesn't rationalize the ways that others have mistreated us. What it does is it reflects God's grace that he has shown us. And it's our way of refusing to allow bitterness, pain to poison our hearts.

So is there something that has been done to you that was wrong and hurtful and inexcusable, but that you need God to help you begin to let go of and forgive so that you are not held prisoner by it for the rest of your life? We follow Jesus example when we love to our last breath. Who is it that you need to love today? What do you need to do with that?

Let's pray together. And then I want to share just a couple of practical next steps you might take. Father God, I'm thankful for this opportunity.